


Gotta be fucking kidding me!

by FanFicReader01



Series: Connor's Crazy College Adventures [1]
Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Student/Teacher, Attempt at Humor, Cliche, College, Crack, Gay Bar, M/M, One Night Stands, Sappy, Smut, Teacher-Student Relationship, awkward aftermath, connor baby mind your language, connor gets too cheeky for his own good, connor is awkward bean and hank is drunk as usual, probably ooc lmao i just needed this written and done, simon/markus as sidepair because im weak for them too, smut in the first chap only altho it gets mentioned in the next
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-12
Updated: 2018-06-12
Packaged: 2019-05-21 08:54:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14912333
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FanFicReader01/pseuds/FanFicReader01
Summary: The summer holidays are almost over and Connor and his group of friends decide to spend the final days of their freedom wisely or maybe not so wisely.





	1. Chapter 1

North was hanging and yelling out of the window of the car while Connor was driving them through the city. North, Connor thought, was always so free and untamed. Maybe even reckless. Meanwhile  Markus and Simon sat in the back of the car together with her, yet they weren’t acting as wild. They did, however, sit close together and muttering some things to each other. Probably some sappy love declarations. Previous school year Markus introduced himself as a exchange student and since then he and the rest had become and remained close friends. Even more so after he hooked up with Simon, the bookworm of the group. Next to Connor sat Kara. She gave him a look and asked where they’d go next.

“We could go to the red light district,” North suggested with a smirk.

“What business do we even have there?” Simon snorted. His friend gave him a meaningful look.

 “Looks like you and Markus can’t keep your hands off of each other. You might wanna rent a room before I have to kick you out myself,” North kept the smirk on her face. “Besides, I’d like to have a score there too. What about you two angels?” Markus chuckled at that comment. He wasn’t sure if North was just joking or if she really wanted to go there with _that_ intent.

 “Nah, I’m not really into that kind of stuff,” Kara awkwardly replied. “I’m afraid you guys gotta drop me off before it gets too late anyway.”

North rolled her eyes and sighed: “Come on, Kara, have some fun. Have some thrill! Summer’s almost over, gotta spend those last days wisely! And we don’t live in a city for nothing!” However, Kara stood her ground against the stubborn other girl and so Connor’s first next stop was Kara’s home. After they drove off again, North persisted.

 “What about you, Connor? You haven’t said much either. Would you like to go?”

Connor kept focusing at the road in front of him, his grasp on the steering wheel tightening. He sighed, tried to say something but swallowed instead. “I wouldn’t mind having a little fun.”

 “Great! Let’s go! Unless you two love doves want to go home?” North poked some fun with the couple.

“I guess that might be for the best then,” Markus decided and of course Simon agreed with him. North then sat back in her seat like she should and even clicked her belt back on. Bad girl gone good, for only a moment.

 “You heard them, Connor. Let’s get rid of them first and then we’ll be having some _real_ fun!"

 

Finally only Connor and North were left and Connor drove back to the other side of the town.

Flashy neon signs and some people in more risky clothing told them they’d entered the red light district of town.

 “At least you’re more fun,” North stated.

“Oh really?” Connor remained rather stoic and North now crawled to the front seat and settled down with a thud.

 “Of course! You may be the biggest nerd of us all when it comes to studying and shit, but I know you can be up to mischief too if you really want to.” North’s analysis on Connor makes the guy smirk. North’s right. Sometimes it was true that Connor had a ‘hidden’ agenda. The male student finally managed to park somewhere which was basically illegal but neither he or North cared about that.

 “We’ll care about that later and if it’s necessary, we’ll share the penalty,” the girl had said.

“So, where do you want to go first?” Connor asked.

North ogled the different signs on the different buildings. “Hm, what about that kinky MeatHook thing?” she pointed out. Connor gave her a disapproving face, making her laugh.

 “Not into leather and hot beefy men?”

“Ahem, I have other preferences,” Connor snorted. “So _no_. I’m _not_ into those things.”

 “Alright, mister play-it-innocent, let’s go to the most normal looking bar.” And then they went into a club with loud, even obnoxious club music. Inside it was dark, safe for the flashy coloured lights. While North manoeuvred through the sweaty crowd like she belonged there, Connor had some trouble adjusting. He kept apologizing to everyone he accidentally bumped into,  even had to refuse some  requests from other men coming his way.

 “Drink too?” North had already reached a bar and bought a drink by the time her friend arrived.

“No, I’m good. Besides, I’m the who has to drive us home later tonight,” Connor said.

 “Alright. Have it your way. Anyway, already giving up? I saw quite some dudes being into you,” she winked. Connor rolled his eyes. “But I’m not into them. I have my… standards.”

 “And that might be?”

“Well…,” Connor stammered, trying to find a silly excuse. His friend seemed to have time as she silently ogled him, eventually slurping from her beer to catch his attention.

 “I’m not sure yet but this isn’t my thing.” Connor could never tell North he somehow fell for older men. Bonus if they might be a bit grumpy. He knew that if he’d tell his friend, she wouldn’t stop pestering him with ‘daddy’ jokes and worse. She’d probably sign him up for some sugar daddy contract too.

 “What about you, North? Who are you attracted to?” Connor decided to return the question and put the focus on her instead of him.

 “I like my men handsome and tall, girls cute and shy but _not too_ shy. Like, I want to see she has some balls too,” came North’s instant reply.

 

\--

 

Minutes later Connor lost his friend in the crowd. North was probably off, seeking her prey so he decided it might be a good thing to go outside for a minute to get some fresh air. After all, the air was thick and filled with sweat and other unholy scents. As he made his way to the exit, something caught his attention. Connor didn’t know how exactly that happened but there was a peculiar man sitting hunched over at one of the many bars this club seemed to offer. From all the festive people, this one looked odd, out of place. A bit like Connor, who, despite his surprisingly cheeky and mischievous moments, also felt not like he belonged here. Not now.

 He quickly hopped to the bar to have a look at the man’s face. He was obviously a lot older than Connor, maybe twice his age. Or even thrice. ~~Right up Connor’s alley.~~ The man had his head hanging low, glaring into a glass of alcohol. His long, grey hair hid his face. He wore a thick, brown coat and underneath it, Connor spotted a colourful shirt with dark blue underwear underneath it. It looked sloppy but mostly _comfortable_.

 “A-Are you alright, sir?” Connor hesitatingly tried. When the man didn’t reacted, Connor looked around him to see if the stranger was with someone else. Apparently not.

 “Sir?” Connor repeated. The stranger looked up this time and Connor got a look at his face. Grumpy, indeed not that young anymore. He wore his face in a deep frown, accentuating some wrinkles around tired eyes and nose. He reeked of alcohol.

  _Fuck._

It was like an electric shock went through the younger man’s brain when the two made eye contact. Sharp, blue eyes that had something sad to them pierced into his own warm brown eyes.

 “The fuck you looking at, _kid_?” the older man rasped, voice thick with liquor.

 _Fuck, fuck, fuck_. Connor shouldn’t be allowed to _feel_ things when a complete stranger talked to him in such degrading way and yet, here the student was. Already having the hots for this older guy, totally out of his range but whatever.

 “I-, ehm, I saw you and thought you might be troubled. So I came to check in on you,” Connor finally found his words again.

 “Me? A fuckin’ stranger? And why’d you be interested, huh?” the man growled. Again, the younger man was at loss for words. He didn’t know how this older guy attracted him but he did. Somehow.

 “You- you’re drunk,” Connor stammered.

“No fucking way, Sherlock. You should become a detective!” the other man cackled and took a sip from his glass even though it was empty.

 “Why be concerned about me? Wanna play a saint, huh?”

“No, I just… wanted to be nice, I guess,” Connor countered. Really, was this all he could come up with? Maybe he was a nerd after all, as North said.

 “Or…,” the older man shifted on his stool and faced the younger man with his entire frame. He ogled him from tip to toe and continued: “Are you fishing for a quick fuck?” The blatant guess left Connor red in the cheeks, heart pumping too fast. The older man’s frown cracked into mirth. With a stifled ‘yeah’, the stranger jumped off his stool. “Let’s go where it’s darker.” Before Connor knew it, he got dragged away from the bar and deeper into the club.

 “Wh-Where are we going?” Connor asked. He should know.

“Dark rooms. Out of sight of the public eye,” the older man smirked amused.

 

Although this new space was less crowded, it certainly was crowded with tension. Moans, whimpers and other noises were heard. Sex was the smell by default. It affected the younger male. The rush of others shamelessly  fucking, seeped into his own veins whether he’d want to or not. So Connor obediently followed the older  man to a more abandoned part of the dark rooms and there he got  smacked against the wall. Hands locked above his head while the older man’s teeth clashed with his. It was overwhelming but only in this moment Connor realized how _touch starved_ he really was. This whole summer he’d only had his own hand as company and he was figuring out the perfect path to get laid but he’d never gotten to the chance. Luckily that had changed and _quick._

The older man seemed to be as touch starved as Connor himself. Rough hands now grabbing and fondling him everywhere. A hungry mouth claiming as much skin as possible and boy, did Connor _indulge_ in the new sensations. He sighed and gasped when the other man did things to him. Soon his pants and briefs were down and he found the rugged stranger knelt down, between his legs already.

 “O-Oh, oh fuck,” Connor trembled. The older man’s mouth was hot and wet, his beard kind of tickling him as well.

 Just as Connor was getting used to the intense feeling of getting his dick sucked, the stranger let go of him. When their gazes met, another electrifying shock went through the younger man’s head. Must be those cool, blue eyes.

 “What’s your name by the way?” the taller man asked. His face was really close and Connor could just feel the man’s breath in his neck. “C-Connor,” the younger man panted. “W-what about it?”

 “Well, Connor, if you let me I’m gonna fuck that nice looking ass of yours,” the taller man blatantly replied. If the young man had the guts, he’d have replied with a desperate _“Please do.”_ Where his words failed, his body didn’t. He was obviously aching for more and so the older man took that as a yes. Soon Connor got turned around, chest now pressed against the cool wall.

 He slightly flinched when he felt the stranger lift up a part of his shirt, giving more access to his buttocks. His face started to burn when he heard the lewd sound of the older man spitting in his hands, knowing fully well what was going to happen next.

 It took some preparation time before Connor got used to the foreign intrusion of fingers but once he was ready, he still braced himself for the _real_ deal. The man was well-blessed and maybe a tad too big but Connor’s head was filled with pure lust and bliss so he couldn’t care less. Firm hands gripped his hips and then the other man started thrusting into him. Thrust after thrust, pleasure wave after pleasure wave got Connor drooling, a blabbering mess who only saw white before his eyes.

 The man leaned over him grunted, panted and cursed. It was hot, sticky and very messy. Not how Connor really imagined his first time to be but he couldn’t complain.

Luckily the stranger finished himself outside the younger man before he jerked Connor off and left him catching his breath.

 

 “Whoa, th-that was quite something,” Connor couldn’t help but out his excitement. He then started to dress up again. The older man shot him a smug grin. His nose and ears were red from the alcohol and the sex.  “Yeah, sure was, kid.”

 The taller man proceeded to leave but Connor, before he could control himself, stopped him in his tracks by grabbing his wrist.

 “What? I’m leavin, can’t you see?”

Connor wanted to say something but remained quiet. Instead he just kept looking in the older man’s mesmerizing eyes, perhaps looking for some answers to questions he didn’t know yet.

 “The fuck you looking at me like that? Look, I’m sorry if you understood this wrongly but this was a one fuck only, got it? Now go your own way, shoo shoo, I need to sober the fuck up.”

Stunned, Connor watched the other man leave the dark room, leaving him awkwardly behind. It was just like he woke up from a strange wet dream. Damn. He should find North and get out of here.

 

\--

 

“Connor, there you are!” North ran up to her friend who was already waiting by the car.

 “Why did it take you so long?” Connor asked as he put back his phone.

“Had to outrun some douchebags. They thought I had dropped my guard. They were wrong.”

 “So they met your temper,” Connor smirked. He could already imagine it: North kicking the crap out of guys who tried to harass her. Served those assholes right.

North nodded. “Yep, and a boot to their sorry asses but _not_ in the kinky way.” Then it got silent between the two. Connor knew she was examining him. She didn’t say anything until they were driving away from the red light district.

 “Looks like you enjoyed yourself too, huh?” she guessed.

“Yeah, ehm… Sure,” Connor coughed. Wow, way to go. He threw a side-glance to his partner who then laughed out loud.

 “Those hickeys betray you. Had a rough lover, huh?”

“No, I-, it was just a,” Connor trailed off and tried concentrating on the traffic instead. He exhaled in relief when he brought North home and he could go to his own house.

 “See you in college over two weeks, lover boy!”

“Over two weeks,” Connor muttered absently. He couldn’t help but rethink of what happened to him last night. He lost his frigging virginity to some older bastard. A _drunk_ one at that. He wondered if he could get the image out of his head by the time he got back into college. He surely didn’t want to sit through boring lectures with inconvenient boners.


	2. Chapter 2

As usual, the teacher room is full of life and people are running around like darn chickens without heads. Hank doesn’t know why he decided to become a teacher again but here is. The beginning of a new school year, hopefully less wasted as previous one. It _has_ to be or he can risk losing his darn job. And he sure ain’t gonna lose it this time. This is a new college and thus a new start or so he hopes.

With a mug of fresh hot coffee he aimlessly stands in the room and watches follow professors ready themselves for the lectures and what not.

 “Hank? Here, I found your schedule,” Josh interrupts the older professor and hands him over a few papers.

 “And the list with new classes,” Hank mutters. “Thanks, Josh.” The older man settles down in a chair and slowly goes over the schedule. Three hours, then two hours break and then one more lecture. Good, the first hours are well spend with the older ‘kids’ while his final class consists of the new second graders or whoever passed for it.

His eyes trail over the several names of students and for a moment he lingers at the name _Connor_. Where did he hear that name before? Hank scratches the back of his head and grunts. Just as he is starting to get some hazy flashbacks to a darkened room, he quickly snaps out of it. He should be going, not thinking of a regretful night at some “club” while he was wasted as fuck.

 

\--

 

During lunchbreak Hank goes to the canteen. He’s the next standing in queue and then one of the students pass him. A flash of brown hair goes by and suddenly Hank remembers that his feverish dream of last night wasn’t a dream but actually a _flashback_ to something that very much happened.

When Hank turns around the man in question is gone already and Hank is questioning himself. That couldn’t be the guy he-

 “Must’ve imagined it. Fuck.”

 

Break is over before he knows it and then it’s time for the final lecture of the day. Hank already feels worn out and damn, this is just the beginning of the schoolyear. He really hopes he’ll survive the rest of it. He steps into the hall and sets up his laptop, connecting it to the beamer. As he is doing so, the first students already arrive and settle down. Soon the classroom is filled with chattering and useless banter between the students.

 “Alright, listen up!” Hank raises his voice and accentuates it by dropping one of the textbooks onto his desk with a loud thud.

 “Good afternoon everyone. I’m professor Anderson and from now on I’ll be your new professor, replacing mister Kamski as he’ll be in the hospital for an undetermined amount of time.”

 “Why, what happened to him?” some of his students asks.

“That’s none of your business. If you want to know the why’s and how’s you better ask at the secretary. Anyway, I’m going to check if everyone’s here. If not, then that’s their loss and not my problem.”

Hank goes quickly over the names. Then the familiar sounding name pops up on the very end of the list

 “Connor?”

“Present, mister Anderson.” Something in Hank’s head snaps. It’s the sound of awful realization. Now he remembers. _Connor_. He’s the  youngster he met at that gay club a few weeks ago.

 

 _“What’s your name by the way?” Hank wasn’t sure why he’d even ask the name of a handsome boy he’d never see again. Maybe because he still wanted to show he_ kind of _cared?_

_“C-Connor,” pretty boy replied with a cute crimson on his cheeks and ears. “W-what about it?”_

_“Well, Connor, if you let me I’m gonna fuck that nice looking ass of yours.” Lust overruled him once again and then-_

_You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. Don’t tell me I really banged one of my students while drunk?!_

 

Hank swallows uneasily, complete in shock. He really hopes the red in his neck won’t spread to his face. The dark haired student seems to realize it at the same time. He looks baffled but quickly manages to regain his previous -as the cool kids would probably say- chill posture. The bastard even _smirks_.

 “Is it just me or did we meet somewhere before?” Connor has the guts to ask. The bastard.

“No,” comes Hank’s instant flat reply. “I don’t think we’ve met. If you’ll excuse me, I’d like to begin my lecture.”

 It’s easier said than done. Hank tries his best to _not_ think about that thrilling night in the club. Why must all his memories come back _now_? He’s trying to teach a class, god damnit. Why, of all people, must that illegally hot brunet be part of this year’s class?

Dear lord have mercy, this is going to be one hellish year and from the looks Connor is _already_ giving him, he knows the smartass won’t go easy on him.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And the final conclusion from Connor's POV

The moment he steps into the classroom for his final hour of today he spots the new teacher right away. Mister Anderson. Apparently somewhere in his early fifty’s. He’s tall and has grey hair that almost reaches his shoulders. The man wears a large, thick brown coat and- _wait a minute_. Connor stops in his tracks, making Simon accidentally bump into him.

 “I’m sorry,” the blond immediately apologizes.

“Oh no, my bad,” Connor mutters and quickly proceeds finding a place in the back of the classroom.

 “What was that all about?” Of course, it’s North who spotted Connor’s hesitation.

“What?” Connor plays stupid. God, even Ralph now focuses on him too. Quick, think of something less inappropriate.

 “It’s nothing. I was just wondering how they’d allow a teacher to dress like that. I mean, the man looks like a drunk hobo!” Connor finally says with a cackle. There’s some truth to it but that’s not what got Connor concerned in the first place.

It’s that he _knows_ this man, has seen him before in a not so formal setting. While the rest of his friends are already taking out their textbooks and notes, Connor stares at the man in the centre.

He’s fumbling with some of his stuff before he sets up his laptop. As he’s doing so, Connor tries to remember one specific night. The night he lost his goddamn virginity. The images that come with that, excite him more than he should.

 

_Strong hands holding him in a solid grasp. Hot breath in his neck and the man filling him up, fucking him dirty and dear god, did it feel good. The stranger had been lust fuel and the main character of Connor’s lewd fantasies ever since that electrifying night._

“Connor? Are you alright? You seem to be sweating more than usual,” Ralph, their younger friend interrupts the older student’s inappropriate thoughts. Why must he be so innocent?

“I-, I’m fine. It’s just a bit warm in here,” Connor lies as he tugs a bit at his tie.

 “You sure?” Kara asks concerned, “I think the temperature is quite average.”

“Nah, I’m fine, really. You guys don’t have to be so concerned about me,” Connor brushes off his friends’ help. No, it’s not hot in here at all but it is getting hotter in his goddamn pants. He refocuses on the professor who finally started talking and _fuck_ , mister Anderson really is the guy from that night. He recognizes the voice, be it less raspy and lust pumped.

 Instead of being overly worried of the moral crisis of the case, a smirk creeps onto Connor’s lips.

When North tries to question her friend about his behaviour, mister Anderson interrupts, calling  out Connor.  

 “Present, mister Anderson.” Connor waits and sees his teacher’s face zone out for a minute. Before the older man can recollect himself, the student cheekily adds: “Is it just me or did we meet somewhere before?”

Disappointed, Connor gets a blunt ‘no’ in response but the look on his professor’s mortified face is priceless. He wonders if the other students caught up on what was happening between them or not.

 The rest of the hour is spend with shameless staring at mister Anderson and his whole appearance.

Connor observes the way the man talks, how that mouth moves and how those lips used to be wrapped around his hardened co-

 “You really know mister Anderson?” North whispers. The others seem to pay no mind. Ralph is doodling in his book, Kara is attentive as always and the couple is also paying attention to whatever mister Anderson is rambling about.

 “Yes. Met him a few weeks ago,” Connor replies amused.

“Where? _Oh,_ no don’t tell me,” his friend starts to glue the puzzle pieces together and almost bursts out in laughter.

 “Met him at that gay club,” Connor confirms. He even takes pride in it.

 

After the  excruciating hour is over, which was filled with tension, inappropriate thoughts and lecherous flirtations from the student’s side, Connor lingers a bit longer at his teacher’s desk than he should. Obviously the professor is trying to avoid the student’s presence as he conveniently packing things up. Being all clumsy  at that to buy himself more time.

 “See you next week, mister Anderson. I’m really looking forward to our next lectures.”

Once out of the building, North confronts her friend completely. Luckily for them, Ralph is no longer among them. It’s better if his ears don’t hear what’s being said next.

 “Are you for _real_ real?” Markus laughs. He still can’t believe what Connor confessed to them.

“You heard me right. I got fucked by mister Anderson himself. Literally.”

 “You take quite the pride in that,” Simon argues and Connor nods unashamed. When he looks over at Kara, she looks like she’s questioning why they even became friends in the first place.

“Of course I take pride in that. Not everyone can say they got screwed by their professor. This is going to be a fun schoolyear,” Connor casually replies.

 “Just keep it in your pants during school hours, whatever you decide outside those hours, I don’t care,” North supports. Why wouldn’t she support her friend?

 “Geez, North, I really _don’t_ want to imagine what Connor’s up to in his spare time,” Kara exclaims.

 “And just don’t try to get in too much trouble,” Simon adds. He’s cautious as ever. Connor rolls his eyes. “Yeah, yeah. Don’t worry. I’ve always been an A grade student, when did I ever fuck something up, huh?”

 “Well, Simon’s got a point. If anyone else were to find out, you and mostly your professor could get in trouble,” Markus admits.

 “But we’re not a thing yet,” Connor grins with a hint of disappointment in his voice. Markus cocks his eyebrow. “You want it to be a thing for real?”

Connor’s too quick replying with an overly eager ‘hell yeah.’

 “That’s the spirit!” North exclaims cheerfully as she enthusiastically pats her friend’s shoulder. “I already know this is going to be the best schoolyear I’ve ever had!”


End file.
